This Love Business

Hi all.

Sorry for the long break. Not that I had written anything since that brief introduction so long back that I can hardly remember when, but there is a reason (scratch that and replace with excuse...lol). Hunt for a new job after the romance with the former one turned sour was the major reason, coupled with the drought that sort of dried my creative juices. Trust me, that is one of the major occupational hazards this side of the Western Hemisphere. Those said, it feels great to be back.

I was searching for motivation to start writing again. Nigeria's many problems were an option, but in my opinion, other bloggers already were having a field day tackling it from different angles (not that they ever have any chance in hell of covering all the angles of this beloved country's myriad of headaches) so, I tried to look for options. My life had not been exactly exciting, so writing about the boring routine of starting the day by 4am and ending it at 1.30am would probably bore y'all to sleep - as it would me, so that too was struck out. Then it happened.

Returning home from work is something I look forward to. Call me lazy, but then, I'm Nigerian and as the Yoruba saying goes - "Owo ni a nwa, a o wa ise" (meaning, we are not looking for work; rather, it's money we are after). So, I had every cause to be happy on this Thursday, only for me to get home and meet some of my beer buddies sitting in a group outside the 'agbole' I call home. Usually, that happens when there is a problem, or there's a match to be watched, or there are some bottles to be felled. So, first thing I asked was "wetin dey?". They looked up at me first with straight, sad faces and the chills envelop me. My face gives my feelings away, and they all burst into loud laughter, bar one. So I asked him, "wetin dey". And his response birthed this piece.

My friend had travelled to Port-Harcourt to see his lady. And his relationship with this one clearly baffled us all, and here's why. Since Gbenga (that's my friend's name) started dating some 12 years back, he has never stayed with one girl at the time. When I asked him why, he told me: "Guy, the best way to stay on top and safe from the wahala that comes with this venture, is to play the game without your heart. Keep your heart out of it". Funny though, with this Port-Harcourt girl, he did not take his own advice and so his heart was shattered when he travelled all the way to PH City to find his woman in the embrace of another. Who? Your guess is as good as mine - an expatriate oil worker.

Long and short, my friend has insisted that that has done it for him. He is no longer interested in love, and thinks the term is overrated. Looking from his position, I couldn't agree more. As a newbie in the 'employed' cadre, my eyes have been opened by various personal experiences with the opposite sex. I have seen them in all their glory - and inglory, and I am influenced to agree with a friend, who posted on her Facebook profile that "love is a matter of chance; marriage, a matter of choice and divorce a matter of course". Most of the ladies I had made overtures to as a student (who turned me down) are asking for my number, and so on and I am forced to think: do they think I don't know what's going on?

Personally, I don't subscribe to love. Don't get me wrong, I have a girlfriend who I care a great deal about. She's sweet and all, but my head is what is in this relationship. My heart, no way! It's way too fragile, easily influenced and manipulated and thus, a weakness. Relationships, for me, are determined by who holds the aces, and only your head can make conscious, rational decisions which can help you ensure that the relationship survives tempestuous times - something your heart can almost never do.

Solo FG